On The Wrong Side

For a country with a reputation of strict law enforcement, it is quite shocking that one doesn’t get penalized for driving on the ‘wrong’ side in Germany! Having witnessed only the British alternative since birth, the keep-left traffic system had been stone-etched into my subconscious well before my arrival in Germany. Therefore I can be blamed for neither of the first bloopers like waiting for the bus on the wrong side of the road, checking the wrong side while crossing the road and getting into the driver’s seat of a taxi! And having traveled only by public transport during my masters, it had sufficed to come to minimal terms with this laterally inverted system. But after joining my new job, it became quite desirable if not absolutely necessary to get a German driving license, which meant of course that I had to learn to do it exactly the other way. 

‘Converting’ my Indian license to a German one is actually a misnomer, as taking both theory and practical tests was compulsory. After spending a couple of weekends with the study material, I decided it was time to get behind the wheel. My first hour on the road however turned out to be well short of a good start, to say the least. Well, what else could I expect when the steering wheel, direction indicator and gear box were all mounted on the wrong side in the Audi! Thankfully they had not switched the orders of the pedals and the gear changes, which might have otherwise compelled me to give up altogether, even before I switched on the ignition! I had never driven cars with that much electronic control before and it took me some time to get a hang of this clutch pedal causing the engine to stall time and again. I was also guilty of wearing sports shoes a little too broad for comfort in the pedal space and so I often unintentionally stepped on both the brake and accelerator pedals partly. The resulting awkward jerking of the car together with the stalling of the engine and activation of windshield wipers instead of direction indicators made me look worse than a beginner. 

If this terrible mix-up of controls was not enough for me to focus on while driving, the complex system of traffic signs, lane driving, speed limits, right of way regulations and unwritten rules overloaded my brain. Further, German being a non-native language for me, admonishing instructions from my annoyed trainer under pressure situations made me go blank and I resorted to unwarranted braking, once almost causing a rear end collision on a highway. When we were through, the trainer was very generous and uncharitable in his feedback - I did not know how to handle the vehicle controls, did not look into the mirrors often enough, could not maintain speed, could not keep the car in the lane, could not start driving uphill, could not park correctly, did not observe road signs, did not follow traffic regulations, in short – I JUST COULD NOT DRIVE. He was quite shaken by the close call and said that I was a dangerous driver and that he had no intention of risking his car and life for the little fee I paid him. He questioned my driving experience in India and found the prospect of me passing the driving test with this level of proficiency laughable. Let’s just call it, A TERRIBLE START! 

After venting his anger and annoyance thoroughly, he finally seemed to cool down and decided to give me “one last chance”. I felt like shit as I walked back home, but tried not to get bogged down by the debacle and told myself that it was just starting problem. At home, I ran through the forgettable hour in my mind and made mental notes of where I actually went wrong and how I could avoid those mistakes henceforth. I watched some driving trainer videos online and got some hints about where to expect which traffic sign and how to quickly deduce the applicable regulation on the fly. Although I still felt quite uneasy going to bed, I somehow felt that it could only get better from here. 

The next day’s spin was indeed much better, although not excellent. More suitable shoes and the lessons learnt last night eliminated more than half from the previous day’s mistakes. I myself watched what I was doing wrong, observed more on the road as I drove, paid utmost attention to every one of the trainer’s instructions and tried to translate every one of his words into action. He was always sharp in his directions, often harsh in his criticism and at times ruthless in his admonition, appreciation was quite unknown to him. But he knew his stuff and told me exactly how it is done. So I held on to my nerve, tried to separate his lesson from his lecture and worked hard to do it right, at least to save me his irritating comments! The second session was good enough for him to make the next appointment and some more after that. I made use of the time during daily bus journeys to office to observe the bus driver driving, the different traffic signs and the other vehicles on the road. I worked on the details bit by bit and reduced my mistakes from one class to the next, until my trainer finally announced me as test-ready. A week before my test, my trainer was informed who my examiner would be and we trained a couple of stretches which that examiner usually prefers. 

The big day started with some last minute excitement. Due to some administrative problem, the examining authority had changed the examiner! The earlier scheduled examiner would have been quite forgiving towards small mistakes during the test, but this one expected perfection. Each second of the hour that I had to wait for my turn seemed to last forever as I tried to give myself some pep-talk. “My driving skills are good enough, so the examiner does not matter. Worst case, if it doesn’t work out this time, big deal. I will do it the next time!”. When the moment of truth arrived, I spoke to the examiner only in English, a tip from my trainer to avoid lengthy questions and conversations with the examiner in German! The examiner was thorough as expected, checking my knowledge of the vehicle controls, making me drive through all possible speed limits and testing my parking skills among others. Starting up a hill and parallel parking were still my weak points, but luckily the former was not tested and I managed to park perfectly in the test. At the end, apart from a couple of minor comments, he was generally satisfied with my driving skills and gave me the go ahead! 

Early next morning saw me waiting to lay my claim on that little card in front of the driving license office. When I finally had it in my hand, I could not hold back a broad smile and a silly giggle, eager to show it off to anyone who would care to have a look. With the license to challenge the 130 km/h ‘advisory’ speed limit on the German Autobahn, it was now just a matter of finding myself the right car and hitting the road!