Being Away

Away from home I mean. My home is our cosy independent house in the quiet Falnir locality of Mangalore. I spent the fond days of my childhood and adolescence in that beautiful coastal town. Pursuit of higher education and profession took me to Bangalore. Having managed quite fine during 4 years of hostel life at RVCE and the subsequent 2 years in a shared apartment during my job, interleaved with occasional visits to my aunt’s in Bangalore and monthly home visits, living away from my family is long known to me. But then, being away from my home country has definitely been new and much more challenging.

I can safely claim that we Indians have a craze for going abroad and for things which are foreign! Maybe to different extents, but it does exist. The television, the internet and our NRI relatives visiting us once a year, play their part in replacing our ignorance of the world beyond our borders with shiny glamour! Going through the drudgery of daily routine, a dream is often nurtured of someday getting a chance or being able to save enough to fly away into the land of beauty and abundance and sunshine, for a ‘foreign trip’! For some, the ‘foreign return’ uncle walking out of the airport dragging a trolley bag behind, appearing of fairer skin than when he left, sporting an accent and bringing back Nike shoes and Hershey chocolates among other gifts, is their hero! – someone who has made something of himself and in more ways than one, is going places! Well no harm done. Except that, in all this fantasy of the greener grass on the other bank, we fail to appreciate what we really have. With a classic case of – “you know the value of something only when you lose it”, I have been counting my blessings being away.

In an abundantly populated country like India, one fails to recognize the value of the people around – the family, the friends, for that matter, even strangers on the street! Something feels missing when we don't find 'our people' around anymore. Skype, facebook and gtalk with the added problem of time difference with India, are poor alternatives to personal human touch. Well I do have many friends among localites and of other nationalities. But then, the differences hinder cordial camaraderie and the few Indian friends have become fonder!

Being the food-lover that I am, the wishes of my taste buds drove me inevitably to the kitchen in Germany. Being only a beginner in partnership with a seasoned veteran, we manage above average results quite often, at times well beyond my expectations! Even then, thoughts of sungta randai (prawn curry), thallele visonu (fried fish), korri-rotti (chicken curry), pulikoddel, patrado, alsande upkari (english translation of my mom’s specialities are still unknown to google!) make the salivary glands flood my mouth! I crave for the simple pleasure of a pani puri on the street, hot mensinkai bhajji (fried chilly) with tea from a street-cart on a rainy day, roti with paneer butter masala from a highway dhabha, relishing a south indian plate meal with hands in desi style, licking last traces of chicken biryani off my fingers, and the wish-list goes on...

Europe is heaven for the passionate traveller in me. The excellent railway system, the Schengen Visa permit all over the European Union, cost benefits of the student status, planning and booking made easy by the internet – make my travel dreams a reality. Be it long distance trips or everyday commuting, comfort and speed are always on offer. And yet, the picture of the Taj Mahal or the Himalayas gives me goose-bumps, a lot remains to be explored in the sub-continent. Hanging for life on the footboard of the ever crowded local buses, feeling the wind sitting at the door of a moving train, the loud tea and snack sellers doing their rounds in trains, fighting with the auto rickshaw driver over 50 paise, paying the goods train driver to let us ride in the engine, taking a lift from a scooter-fellow?! - it happens only in India!

In all, the transition from a world where disorder is the rule and order is an exception to one where the order is the rule and disorder, an exception is very drastic. Be it something from a social setting like family gatherings, weddings, festival celebrations and visits to relatives’, to anything as random as the busy streets, the traffic jams, the loud honks, the crowded markets, the barking dogs – the confusion, the imperfection, the colour, the noise of it all when suddenly replaced by endless calm, order and silence, can drive one nuts in no time! At times, this silence is deafeningly loud!!! 

These are the times when listening to songs like “Yeh joh des hai mera” from Swades and “Maa” from Taareh Zameen Par make the eyes moist. I remember the times when I used to travel home overnight from Bangalore and reach early at dawn. My mom would open the door for me rubbing her eyes and ask me – “how was your journey?” with joy in her eyes. I am dying to see the same joyous eyes again, to enjoy my mom’s cooking at our dining table with my family, to feel the coastal breeze hit my face as I ride my dad’s bike around the town, to walk bare-feet on the sand by the water at Panambur beach by the sunset, to relish the Pabbas special icecream. No matter where I go, don't think I will ever find a place like home!

The Bitter Half

“The easiest way to start a conversation with a german is to broach the topic of the weather” – the trainer in an Intercultural Seminar back in India had told us. And I wondered why! Having lived most my life in Mangalore, the coastal weather offered seldom enough variety to start a conversation about it. Throughout the year, it either rains (like crazy!) or it’s hot (again… like crazy!). But during these 6 months in Germany, I have experience enough of the weather to write one post about it at least.

Coming from the tropics, I could most simply say – Germany is a cold country. Or rather that’s the only kind of weather I have experienced here as yet, having landed here is September at the onset of Herbst (Autumn). Getting out of the airport at Frankfurt, the air had felt noticeably cold. But now having experienced the chills of winter, I miss those 'warm' old autumn days!

Autumn was just like I had seen in the movies. One tree after the other along my daily path turned from green to red to orange to yellow to brown in a matter of weeks before all the leaves sadly withered away. Many of us leveraged the colour of the season in the background of our single pictures for the matrimonials! It was the last vestige of colour that nature would offer us for a while, for winter was soon at our doors.

My first time experience with snowfall was memorable. The cute cotton flakes descending in slow motion and causing a tingling sensation on my face was an endearing experience. Overnight, the dull and gloomy surroundings of late autumn had turned into a white fairy land. The mountains behind my dorm, the houses in the neighbourhood, the bald trees, the streets and the pavements had been white washed! Esslingen was a different town altogether! The discharge of my camera batteries sadly put an end to my clicking spree and I joined the snow-ball battles of thrilled first-timers! The veteran germans held back and watched us shaking their heads as if to say – “this always happens the first time!".

But after a few times, it is not much fun anymore, rather a nuisance. Now I prefer to enjoy snowfall on the mountains from the window of my cosy and warm 8th floor room! The delayed trains, the slippery roads, the numb hands, the barren and gloomy days, the longing for sunshine, being under house-arrest for months at a stretch are too high a price to pay to witness the spectacle of the Christmas season. A bigger inconvenience for me is having to put on my entire wardrobe at the same time to save myself from freezing into a snow man! On the coldest day, I can be seen carrying around a considerable percentage of my bodyweight in thermals + normal wear + sweater + jacket + winter boots + muffler + skull cap + gloves!!! If you thought keeping myself warm is the only challenge, I need to strip down to decency to save myself from getting cooked once I enter the heated buildings! Apart from the unfriendly climate in general during these seasons, what's a bigger pain is the drastic change in weather over a matter of days. The temperature has dropped from +10 to -10°C in a couple of days, a gloomy cloudy day has changed to a sunny day in a matter of hours, dry surroundings at night have been snow covered in the morning. My poor Indian body must be shocked by the thermal stress testing day in and day out!

The climate in general, but the weather in particular influences the life and habits of people in Germany to a great extent. People have high respect for time and plan their days and months meticulously. Among others, vacations are planned and bookings made months in advance. Weather forecast websites are used almost as often as Google! Once here, the weather tends to become a crucial part of our routines, whether we like it or not.

A common observation by most Indians of Germans is that they are ‘cold’ and emotionless. I often wonder if this unfriendly climate here has something to do with it. Apart from the physical effects, the influence of winter on my mood and mind was very prominent. A few weeks into winter, the gloomy, cloudy and barren sights around began to get on my nerves! Weeks at a stretch without a trace of sunlight was one of my most depressing experiences ever! Those in India, better thank the heavens with a Suryanamaskara first thing tomorrow morning! To empathize, imagine the earth coming to a halt around dusk, when its neither day nor night and remaining so for a couple of months! That’s winter at its worst for you. 

But then the earth revolves on! One who is willing to bear the darkness of the night will be rewarded with the light of the day. Summer is around the corner! The sun is back from his long vacation! The trees are going to come to life again! Enough of black and white, lets have some colour! Time to forget about the winter, pack our bags and hit the road! But watch out! Half a year of joy is going to run you over!

A Few Paces Short

The semester break has finally given me the time to share this post with you. Its not the typical 'Happy Ending' kind of a story! But happens to be one of the most exciting and worthwhile experiences I have ever had.

Background: Siemens Master Program is an esteemed scholarship program which besides financing the tuition fees and living expenses of the successful candidates, opens doors to future career opportunities at the MNC. My online application and a telephonic interview in german had in their words, "made them curious about me"! The email went on to offer a whole day evaluation session, THE GRAND FINALE, the last hurdle towards glory! To add to the excitement, the proposed date was in between my semester exams! Putting the subsequent Math paper on the line, I decided to go. 

Having taken my first exam in Germany, I boarded the train for Erlangen. The 3 hour journey was not to be uneventful. One of the connections happened to be my first time experience in an ICE – Inter City Express (the fast german train). As I settled in my seat, looking around awed like a girl in a barbie store, here comes a (not-so) friendly neighbourhood cop! Like others of his lot, his hobby apparently was admiring the passports of the 'not german looking' people! My heart skipped a beat as I realized I was not carrying mine! Luckily a copy lying in my wallet would do. After some exchange of rapid german over the phone, he seemed satisfied and moved on in his beat mumbling some feigned courtesies. Once at Erlangen, I got off at a bus stop too soon! With directions from a chanced passerby on the deserted streets, I took a long evening walk to my hotel.

A shock awaited me at the reception desk. The booking had been made by someone from Siemens and I conveniently assumed that it was already paid for. But the lovely blond receptionist handing me the 100 Euro bill politely rubbished my understanding! I would of course be reimbursed for it later, but had to pay NOW. To my embarrassment my credit card was enjoying the warmth of my cupboard back in my dorm and I was of course not carrying that much in cash. Thankfully my sub-continent appearance and pitiable desperation won her sympathy! She agreed to let me crash for the night, when I promised to jog to the nearest ATM first thing in the morning. With the exhaustion of the exam, the journey and the series of unexpected occurrences, I hit the (very expensive) sack after a quick packed dinner.

At 4:00 am in sleep, a frightening question arose in my mind. What the **** is my debit card pin code???!!! I could recall all 4 digits, but could not remember the right order! Is it Dyslexia what they call it?! The rest of the night was spent in a mental game of “guess the right order”!!! Man!!! Does shit happen at times or what! Around 6:00 am I remembered that I had left my room keys with a friend! Feeling groggy from the lack of sleep, I recovered the pin and hurried to the nearest ATM in the biting cold of the dawn. After grudgingly paying an exorbitant fee for withdrawing from a different bank, I picked up some Bambergers (a bakery product) and walked back to the hotel.

In all this mess, I had not given enough thought to what I had gone through all the trouble for. I had a god damned whole day of interviews and assessments to follow!!! Pushing aside these frustrations and ever haunting thoughts of the coming Math exam, I pulled myself together and tried to prepare myself mentally for the task at hand. When it was time, I hastily downed the Bambergers, having decided against the hotel breakfast – a luxury I could ill afford (remember what the stay is costing me?!) I packed up and proceeded to the reception desk to pay and check out, only to discover to my dismay that breakfast was included in my bill, whether I ate or not! Having neither the mood nor the time to eat now, I completed the formalities and headed out.

Competing with thoughts of exams, cops and breakfast, I struggled to make room for the INTERVIEW in my mind, as I walked to the Assessment Center. I was one of the 6 to be assessed on D-DAY. Talking to my competitors I felt overwhelmed by their backgrounds, exposure and experience. I felt a rush of pride flow through my veins as the realization of the level at which I was competing sank into me. I was one among 54 finalists selected from all over the world, but only 30 among us would take away the honours! I was relieved of the earlier pressure and tension as I made up my mind to give it my all and leave the rest to the unknown! Burdens feel so much lighter when one accepts that some things are out of one's control! After some introductions and refreshments, we embarked upon our schedule for the day. As the ball was set rolling, each new activity brought a different challenge, ranging from personal interview to activities in pairs to group tasks. Every facet of one's personality and capability was put to the test. I managed to better my performance with every subsequent round and carried my accumulated confidence to the next. At the end of it, out of the 6 activities, I was able to excel at 4, but was found wanting at 2 due to my non-native german language skills. Needless to mention, most of the assessment was in german! At the end of it all, I took the train back home, an exhausted but satisfied chap. There was hardly the time to be spent on the day's analysis. The Math challenge was to encountered next!

The day before my last exam, the result reached my inbox. I had NOT made it. I was disappointed. I really felt that my performance had been worthy of the accolades. Guess it had not been my lucky couple of days to begin with! All the same, life goes on or at least the exam the next day would go on as per schedule! So pushing aside the story for my blog, I said "Hello" to the next chapter!

From all this, I learnt to enjoy the race as much as the victory. Although I couldn't make it to the finish line that day, I grew stronger to run another race another day.