I can't really say, if it was the hungriest I have been, as I am very hungry very often! To break my routine of carrying packed lunch to office, I decided to try out the company canteen for a change. After losing my way a couple of times in the large campus at Feuerbach, I finally tailed a large bunch of 'corporates' heading towards the common destination, greeting the passing colleagues with a 'Mahlzeit!' (Lunch time!).
At the reception, the security guard eyed the 'hungry looking' Indian suspiciously. I quickly took the cue and flashed my company ID card proudly and marched on! The huge canteen seemed capable of feeding a small village. The assembly line of the 'feeding system' took in a steady flow of diners at one end and let out full ones at the other, pretty efficiently at that. Before falling in line, I tried to make sense of the menu put up at the entrance. But my above-average german skills came to no avail, as the hi-fi names of the day's specials left me clueless with regard to avoiding beef and pork on my plate! So I finally gave up and decided to resort to the embarrassing task of asking the server – “which animal is it?!” and joined the queue. But the tiny picture of cow/ pig/ chicken above the respective dishes at the buffet tables saved the day and I greedily loaded my plate with as much chicken and noodles as physics allowed!
Holding the tray, I navigated precariously through the entwine of queues, ‘chanting’ “Entschuldigung” (Excuse me) constantly! Once near the payment counters, I quickly joined a queue, a couple of people shorter than the other 3 very long ones. After what seemed like an endless wait, I finally reached the cashier, only to be informed that they accepted only cards there and the cash counter was the next one! Uttering some expletives under my breath in a south-Indian regional language, I headed to the tail of (yes, you guessed it right!) the now longest of, the even longer 4 queues. When I had almost passed out on the canteen floor, I made it past the counter responding faintly to the ‘Guten Appetit’ (wish you a good appetite) and headed to one of the few empty seats in the room.
By the time I took my seat, if not for the din from the chattering in the canteen, the others at my table could have heard the growling of my tummy like the cry of a bear! I curbed my instinct to go at the food with both hands and picked up the knife and fork. After a couple of failed attempts to grab some of those slimy flat noodles with my fork, some finally hung on. The bland stuff failed to impact my taste buds and I began to ‘indianize’ my lunch. The eyes of the german in the next seat almost watered as he watched me empty 5 sachets of black pepper onto my noodles. Now more like it. Next the chicken legs seemed to have come alive as they escaped the clutches of my cutlery leaving me clinking onto the china, raising some eyebrows around. I juggled between fork, knife and spoon till I ran out of cutlery, with success once in a while! I can’t get my head around why one has to go through this pain in the name of table manners, being blessed with these versatile hands and fingers! Especially when it comes to the likes of chicken legs! Wouldn’t we have evolved with a fork and a knife at the ends of our hands instead, if it was meant to be?! Don't you agree Mr. Darwin?! I think the west has developed so far, that it has been left far behind! At an Andra Hotel with steaming Hyderabadi Biryani on a banana leaf is the place to be when hunger strikes!
Coming back to reality, I struggled on, while pretending to feel at home! After a couple of more batches of people finishing their meal at the table and several more self conscious moments, I finally sucked in the last noodle and reluctantly decided to abandon the still promising chicken legs. So ended my little (mis)adventure into the world of corporate dining!
Moral of the story: When at a corporate lunch, pick your meal after giving a thought to how you will eat it!
THE END
At the reception, the security guard eyed the 'hungry looking' Indian suspiciously. I quickly took the cue and flashed my company ID card proudly and marched on! The huge canteen seemed capable of feeding a small village. The assembly line of the 'feeding system' took in a steady flow of diners at one end and let out full ones at the other, pretty efficiently at that. Before falling in line, I tried to make sense of the menu put up at the entrance. But my above-average german skills came to no avail, as the hi-fi names of the day's specials left me clueless with regard to avoiding beef and pork on my plate! So I finally gave up and decided to resort to the embarrassing task of asking the server – “which animal is it?!” and joined the queue. But the tiny picture of cow/ pig/ chicken above the respective dishes at the buffet tables saved the day and I greedily loaded my plate with as much chicken and noodles as physics allowed!
Holding the tray, I navigated precariously through the entwine of queues, ‘chanting’ “Entschuldigung” (Excuse me) constantly! Once near the payment counters, I quickly joined a queue, a couple of people shorter than the other 3 very long ones. After what seemed like an endless wait, I finally reached the cashier, only to be informed that they accepted only cards there and the cash counter was the next one! Uttering some expletives under my breath in a south-Indian regional language, I headed to the tail of (yes, you guessed it right!) the now longest of, the even longer 4 queues. When I had almost passed out on the canteen floor, I made it past the counter responding faintly to the ‘Guten Appetit’ (wish you a good appetite) and headed to one of the few empty seats in the room.
By the time I took my seat, if not for the din from the chattering in the canteen, the others at my table could have heard the growling of my tummy like the cry of a bear! I curbed my instinct to go at the food with both hands and picked up the knife and fork. After a couple of failed attempts to grab some of those slimy flat noodles with my fork, some finally hung on. The bland stuff failed to impact my taste buds and I began to ‘indianize’ my lunch. The eyes of the german in the next seat almost watered as he watched me empty 5 sachets of black pepper onto my noodles. Now more like it. Next the chicken legs seemed to have come alive as they escaped the clutches of my cutlery leaving me clinking onto the china, raising some eyebrows around. I juggled between fork, knife and spoon till I ran out of cutlery, with success once in a while! I can’t get my head around why one has to go through this pain in the name of table manners, being blessed with these versatile hands and fingers! Especially when it comes to the likes of chicken legs! Wouldn’t we have evolved with a fork and a knife at the ends of our hands instead, if it was meant to be?! Don't you agree Mr. Darwin?! I think the west has developed so far, that it has been left far behind! At an Andra Hotel with steaming Hyderabadi Biryani on a banana leaf is the place to be when hunger strikes!
Coming back to reality, I struggled on, while pretending to feel at home! After a couple of more batches of people finishing their meal at the table and several more self conscious moments, I finally sucked in the last noodle and reluctantly decided to abandon the still promising chicken legs. So ended my little (mis)adventure into the world of corporate dining!
Moral of the story: When at a corporate lunch, pick your meal after giving a thought to how you will eat it!
THE END
